This is Part 3 of our “Travel Don’ts” series
I have travelled to 28 countries and over 20 US states. I have loved all of them for a variety of reasons and each place has offered something unique. However, no place has captured my imagination more than Istanbul, Turkey. There is no other place like it! It is where East meets West, Europe meets Asia, Muslim meets Christian and modern meets traditional, all in one city. Every conqueror, ever spice, every idea, from antiquity to modern day, has passed through here and made its imprint. It is the greatest city I have ever seen!
That being said, as anywhere else, there are certainly things you Don’t want to do and Don’t want to miss in this beautiful city. Here are a few of them, through the lens of my personal stories:
1. Don’t vist here with a novice traveller!
Listen, I’m sure some people would be more prepared than my friend was on this trip, but Istanbul is one of the biggest and busiest cities in the world. This is especially true if you are travelling with someone from the West and, even more true, if they are from a sparsely populated area.
On my first trip to Istanbul, I brought my dear friend from Belfast with me, thinking we would have the trip of a lifetime… I was wrong!
My friend is much more well-travelled now, but at the time, he had barely been off the island of Ireland. Considering that Istanbul is 25 times the size of his native Belfast and is filled with sites, sounds and smells unfamiliar to his island, let’s say I may have underestimated the power of culture shock. Panic attacks are real and he returned home after just a couple of days.
I, on the other hand, was on cloud nine and being alone in such a vast, foreign place brought about a love of solo travel that would characterise my globe-trekking experiences over the next few years.
However, the ‘long and thick of it’ here is, Don’t underestimate culture shock and be more understanding of your friends!!!
2. If your friend is suffering culture shock, Don’t take him to worship at a neighbourhood Mosque just after he’s had a panic attack!
I’m curious by nature and this curiosity clearly comes out when I travel. Most of the time, this is a good thing… sometimes, it gets me into peculiar situations that you truly can’t make up!
It was our first morning in Istanbul that was preceded by a long flight and rough sleep for my friend and me. He had a panic attack on the flight before we even arrived.
Instead of taking our first morning slowly and being understanding of his situation, I was like, “Shake it off, let’s go exploring!” My friend is a nice guy – he didn’t want to disappoint me – so he reluctantly agreed.
It started out well… just two guys, out on the town.
Then, we passed by a neighbourhood Mosque and, having never been in such a place, I said, “Let’s check it out!” I figured it was like entering a cathedral. You could walk around, at your leisure, enjoy the architecture and decor and leave once you’ve taken it all in. That might be true – I’m not sure – but it wasn’t on this occasion!
We walked in and were prompted to take our shoes off . No problem! Right as we entered the main room, the doors closed behind us and the call to prayer started. The room was filled with men, looking back at these two dumbfounded Westerners standing at the back not knowing what to do. We exchanged glances back and forth for a moment, as if to say, “We are all confused to why we’re here right now.” But, then a couple of them motioned for us to come and join them.
We walked up and there was line on the carpet in which we were supposed to align our feet with. Once we were in position, they began the service, again. I looked at my increasingly anxious friend and he looked at me, and I mouthed to him, “Just… do… whatever… they… do…”
The service began. We kissed the floor a couple of times, contorted our necks and followed their every move. I wasn’t really sure how the whole thing worked. Is this like a mass that lasts for hours? Would it be over quickly? In that situation, it didn’t really matter, we just did what everyone else was doing.
It didn’t last long. Though it felt like an hour, I doubt we were in there more than 5 or 10 minutes. After the prayer had concluded, the men smiled at us as if to say, “Thank you for worshipping with us.” We smiled back, still not sure what we did or what any of it meant.
We rushed to a local cafe, laughing, nearly crying hysterically at what had just happened and the graciousness and hospitality those people in that Mosque had shown us, despite our clear misunderstanding of where we were, what we were doing and, maybe, who we are!
I want to say a special thanks to the people we prayed with that day. We may never see you again, but we will never forget you!
3. You’d think the events of that day would have given us a better lens into the local culture and Islam, in general. But, it didn’t…
My friend and I were interested in seeing someone dressed in a full Birka or Niqab. I was 21 and very ignorant at the time. I am only slightly more enlightened now.
We had walked over much of the European side of Istanbul by this point and had not seen a single person dressed this way (I know now that this isn’t common in this part of Turkey, but I didn’t know this when I was a moron).
Ahead of us, on Taksim’s main commercial street, we finally saw a woman dressed in all black. We were ecstatic! We raced through the crowd, trying to get a closer look. We caught up, obviously keeping a healthy pace behind and observing, as we continued to walk to down the street.
We followed her for a minute or two, believing that we had accomplished some amazing cultural feat!
She then turns to her left and walks into this beautiful building. We look up at the building and see a great big cross on it – it was a Catholic Church… and she was a nun!!!
Moral of the story: Don’t be a moron!
4. Don’t drink with easyJet pilots!
After my friend had returned home, I was left to my own devices in Istanbul for four days. For whatever reason, I was exhilarated!
But, I was missing Ireland a bit, where I was living at that time and I dropped into an Irish Pub in Taksim. I was delighted to see the Irish publican playing traditional Irish music with a band consisting of Turkish people. Amazing!
I started speaking to a guy seated next to me at the bar, who was a pilot for easyJet. I had flown easyJet to Istanbul on the cheap and complemented him on working for such a bargain of an airline company. We had a couple of pints and, being that Istanbul was his usual flight path, he knew the city well and I agreed to a night out with him around Taksim. I noticed the Irishman was a little rough around the edges, but he was good craic, so I thought no more about it.
We went to a few pubs, shot the breeze and I could start to see that he was, let’s say, ‘on the prowl’ that night. We headed to the next bar. It was his round and I needed to use the facilities. I had noticed a lady sitting at the bar and holding the bartender’s hand, which is universal sign that she is unavailable.
I came back from the bathroom and the bartender was holding a knife towards the Irishman. I thought, “My God! What did he say!” I ran up (why, I don’t know, I don’t even know the guy!) and said, “Listen, everyone, calm down! Let’s just go to another part of the bar (it was a massive place).” He pleaded with me that he didn’t say anything obscene… and I “believed” him! You think I would have gone home at that point. Remember the moron part I mentioned before?!
We then started talking to these very nice Greek journalists who were visiting Istanbul to write an article about “Why it should still be called Constantinople.”
This reminds me, Don’t call it Constantinople! Let it be!!!
Sorry, anyways, these ladies were very kind and I enjoyed talking to them. They were quite devout Orthodox Christians, which I think partly explains their nostalgia for Constantinople.
Well, as I had said, while I was having a nice conversation, the easyJet pilot clearly had his own agenda, as I highlighted above. We agreed to walk the ladies home at the end of the night, the pilot hoping for something more and myself, because I felt that was the right thing to do, especially with this drunken buffoon succumbing to the unavoidable symptoms of his gender.
Remember the bartender with the knife? Yeah, I forgot about him, too! We’re walking, the four of us, down the main drag of Taksim, when all of a sudden the pilot gets pushed from behind. It was the bartender and four of his friends! My loyalty to this man I had only met, who did nothing but keep me in constant danger, still astounds me! But, I stepped in between him and ‘the gang’ as he squared up to fight four grown men. I attempted to hold him back and, luckily, one of the guys on the ‘other team’ was doing the same to the disgruntled bartender.
My luck would soon run out, however, as the ‘peacemaker’ who was holding back the bartender, decided to turn around and punch me in the eye!
“WHAT THE F*** MAN! You’re supposed to be on my side!” After punching me, he kind of looked up at me, sheepishly, realising his betrayal.
I looked at him, and then at the others and yelled at the top of my lungs, in English, “EVERYBODY BETTER GET THE F*** OUT OF HERE, RIGHT NOW!!!” — as if that is supposed to work.
It did, though, somehow! I don’t know if it was the fury in my eyes or the fact that most people don’t really want to be in a fight, but they all just cleared away!
Moral of the story, fly with EasyJet, but Don’t drink with their pilots!
5. Don’t miss these bad boys!
The one good thing that came from this night of pure chaos was finally settling down to two or ten of these amazing, steamed mystery meat burgers, that you won’t find anywhere else, but in Istanbul!
6. Don’t miss these either…
7. Or these…
8. Don’t avoid Ayran! It will cure anything that ails you, especially after a rough night in Taksim!
9. Also, Don’t miss Lahmajoun, Turkey’s answer to New York City’s dirty water hot dogs. Its basically a pizza that you roll up and eat like a burrito. Does it get any better than that???
10. Don’t drink Rakı! Similar to Greek Ouzo or Levantine Arak, Raki is a anise-based drink, diluted with water, that packs a punch. Listen, in all honesty, if you’re hear, you have to try it. Anise, as most have encountered, is a very hit or miss thing for most people. But, when in “East Rome”…
11. Don’t miss Sultanahmet!
I know I tend to stay away from promoting heavily-touristed places and to highlight things to do/places to see that are more ‘off-the-beaten path’, but Istanbul’s ‘old town’ has more history per square mile than most of the world, combined! Whether it’s Blue Mosque, Hagia Sophia (where Turkey’s Roman, Greek Byzantine and Ottoman past collide), the Grand Bazaar (one of the world’s oldest malls), Topkapi Palace or nearby St. George’s Cathedral (where the Patriarch of the Greek Orthodox Church sits), you really can’t find more history concentrated in one place anywhere else in the world!
12. If you’re staying in Europe, Don’t miss Asia!!!
Take one of these iconic treasures across to another continent and enjoy the hidden gems to be found in the districts of Kadıköy and Caddebostan on Istanbul’s Asian side.
13. If you do go to Asia, make sure to drink with the locals and Don’t make your ferry back to Europe – you will have a way better time, I swear!!!
Having ventured to the farthest possible corner of Europe from Northern Ireland, it would have been a wasted journey not to spend at least some quality time in Asia while in Istanbul.
I decided to take one of their famous ferries across to the city’s Asian side for the day. I would go to Kadıköy, Istanbul’s most worthwhile Asian district. Full of open air markets and hosting a quieter, more local feel, I immediately enjoyed Kadıköy’s vibe! I decided to stop off in a local pub to relax and take in the local culture for a short pit stop. I stumbled into Son Gemi, ironically name the “Last Ship”.
After entering the pub around 4pm to have a short break from all the ‘rough’ travelling I was doing, around 11:30pm, I asked the bartenders (who were my new best friends) when I should start thinking about heading back to Europe. They laughed at me and said, “Haha! Son, you’ve missed that boat!” I was like, “Oh no! What do I do?!”
The bartenders, Ebru and Hakki, a couple who ran the place, as well as the rest of the ‘regulars’, had me so engaged in conversation, traditional Turkish dancing and beer, I had completely lost track of time! I asked, “What am I going to do?!” They said, “You’re going to party with us and crash at our place!” I thought, “Crashing on a stranger’s couch in a strange city? Why not?!”
So, after what was already a long and delightful evening bantering away with the local clientele, all of us went to the next pub… and then the next… then we had some lahmajoun… then one more beer… and then, after what was a glorious night, I was graciously treated Ebru and Hakki’s couch to sleep for the night.
After such a long and gruelling night out, you would have thought we would all be incapacitated the next morning. However, this generous couple got up at the crack of dawn and, somehow, went snowboarding that day! I, on the other hand, finally caught my boat back to Europe, after their careful explaining of how to get back to the ferry terminal.
One of the other locals I had met that night would put me up for an entire week on my second journey to the city a few years later, which was another unforgettable experience. I got to explore, much more thoroughly and slightly more consciously, the Asian part of the city, and my host and I would become lifelong friends!
The moral of the story is, Don’t EVER underestimate Turkish hospitality! It is some of the best I have ever experienced!
Thank you to the beautiful people of Istanbul for all the great memories… I will be back!
This concludes Part 3 of our “Travel Don’ts” series. Stay tuned for more
articles!