Top 10 Travel Don’ts

Part 1 of our “Travel Dont’s” series

For all the successful travel I have done, wonderful stories I have come back with and beautiful people I have met, I have also had a few hiccups and surprises along the way. As with most things in life, nothing is perfect and you cannot be prepared for everything while globe-trekking. Not to say that a don’t is always ‘doubly negative’, as there are always things you shouldn’t not do too! These ultimately end up being our best travel stories, at least after the dust settles.

This list kicks off our first part of our “Travel Dont’s” series. Here are the top 10 things I suggest you don’t do while travelling:

1. If you are in a village with a population of 900,000 people in rural China and everyone is staring at you because you are not ‘Asian looking’, don’t be alarmed! This is perfectly normal and they are just curious. Also, don’t be surprised if security guards salute you upon entering and exiting public buildings – it’s endearing!

2. The Don’ts of Barcelona:  There’s a couple things you don’t want to
do in this city…

2.1 Don’t be the naïve 21 year old traveller I was in 2008. Leave your wallet in the hotel room, you moron! Everyone knows that.

2.2 If you are travelling with an immature, buffoon of an American friend, don’t attempt to be ‘like the locals’ and pronounce it ‘Barthelona’ in front of him – he will laugh at you like the pubescent 12 year old that he is and you will again feel like an idiot in a city that you also no longer own a wallet.

2.3 Don’t call it Spain!

3. If you are in the beautiful San Sebastian in the Basque Country of Northern Spain and the shops have closed during lunch time, don’t call it a ‘siesta’ to the lovely lady at the tourist office.

I am assuming that since siesta is a Spanish word, it is not well-received by some or used at all in the Euskadi region, due to a complex history between the Basque people and the Spanish establishment. If this does happen to you, kindly apologise to the nice lady and walk away, instead of turning to your American friend (the same buffoon from earlier) and say, “I think someone is grumpy because they didn’t get their siesta today!” No, don’t do that!

Also, don’t call it Spain here either!

4. As a follow up to #’s 2 and 3, don’t be a ‘know-it-all traveller’! There is nothing more annoying. I will write an article on the folly of this breed at a later date.

5. If you are heavily into the outdoors and enjoy alpine hiking, don’t underestimate pulmonary edema!

I can attest to this one, unfortunately. The gentlemen on my mother’s side of the family and I camped out on Tioga Pass on the eastern side of Yosemite each summer over the span of about 8 years. Let’s say things went swimmingly 7 of those 8 years.

But, in the summer of 2008, I had a long week of work and little rest before our embarking on our annual journey into the rugged high desert of the eastern Sierra Nevada. The highlight of these trips was always our hike at the breath-taking Twenty Lakes Basin above 10,000 feet (3,048m).  

We had completed the 9 mile loop trail many times before this incident and many times since, but that year was different. After a couple nights of restless sleep, I began to have what I would characterise at the time as a religious experience (one of the effects of edema is hallucinations).

After a few charades of drawing symbols in the dirt around me, praying in the direction of what I must have thought was the ‘holy land’ and recognising strangers, my family knew I wasn’t right and took me to the hospital. Let’s just say those hallucinations got worse in the emergency room. They sedated me and I woke up 3 days later in a hospital in Fresno, California (away from the high altitude). Thankfully, I made a speedy recovery.

DON’T UNDERESTIMATE HIGH ALTITUDE SICKNESS!!!

6. If you’re in Edinburgh and you’re drunk American friend has gone missing and the only stall in the men’s room of the pub you’re in has been occupied for an hour, don’t waste your time looking for him elsewhere. Kick the door in, he’s in there!!!

7. If you are visiting Irvine, California, don’t expect there to be any culture there!

8. The Don’ts of Northern Ireland:

8.1 This is one I can proudly say I haven’t done, but I have witnessed countless foreigners do (to my demise, mostly Americans).

If you are travelling to Northern Ireland, don’t ask a publican if his pub is a Catholic pub or a Protestant pub. Have you ever been asked your religion while bartending? I didn’t think so… JUST DON’T DO IT!!!

8.2 Relatedly and ashamedly, I have done this: 

When you’re young and dumb and on the way to Kelly’s in Portrush on a party bus while in university, don’t ask a the lovely Derry and Dublin girls sitting next to you to discuss the legacy of Michael Collins on the island of Ireland. It never ends well and you should know better! What are you doing discussing political history on a party bus anyways, you dweeb!!!

Also, if you ever find yourself on a party bus again, don’t forget to use the facilities before boarding before downing four cans of Harp on the way to Kelly’s!

8.3 Don’t drink Harp!

8.4 Don’t go to Kelly’s in Portrush!

8.5 Don’t believe anything people say in Northern Ireland!!!

9. The don’ts of Texas:

9.1 Don’t be from California – they really can’t stand you!

9.2 If you are from California, don’t talk up Tri-tip… no one will care

9.3 If you are a waiter, don’t call an old group of ladies, ‘you guys’. They won’t appreciate it! Despite your proud, west coast sensibilities, adopt the use of y’all. It will save you a lot of hardship!

9.4 If you earn money as a ‘ridesharer’ in Austin and Uber and Lyft pull out of your city due to increasing regulations, ruining your supplemental income, don’t be afraid to drive completely off the grid for Arcade City and offer rides to Dallas and San Antonio on Craigslist. Down with bureaucracy! Support libertarianism in its purest form by driving people around the state without ever paying ‘the man’ or Uncle Sam ever again! Best job I ever had!

Arcade City Profile Picture:

9.5 Don’t miss Buc-ee’s! If you’re from Texas, you know what I’m talking about!

9.6 “If the house is a-rockin’, don’t bother knockin’– nothing says ‘Texas’ like Stevie Ray Vaughan. RIP Stevie

9.7 Don’t forget the Alamo…

9.8 And DON’T MESS WITH TEXAS!!!

10. Last, but certainly not least, don’t let closed roads or navigation systems deter you from getting where you need to go in Scotland.

This was a lesson my family and I were happy to learn. My family and I were exploring the Scottish Borders region in the Scottish Lowlands. We knew that my great grandmother had worked as a young child in a castle outside of Jedburgh over a century ago. However, the road the navigation system was suggesting for us to take was closed off. I could see on the sat nav some very thin lines, representing what I assumed must have been old cattle roads. Perhaps these roads were where our family name may have originally came from, Clan Turnbull (according to my annoyingly ‘New World’ sense of ancestral heritage). Amidst the feeling of defeat, having come so close to a landmark of our family’s heritage but being unable to reach it, I suggested we give the roads a shot.

Anyone who has driven rural roads in Britain or Ireland will gladly attest to how narrow some of them can be, but, we were on a mission! My mom WOULD see her grandmother’s childhood residence if it’s the last thing I do!

We meandered and veered through narrow passes down this old, beaten roadway, seemingly not making any progress, when, through a clearing, a beautiful building appeared. We could see the castle, but were unsure of how exactly to reach it. Keeping her in our site, we eventually found our way to this hallowed place. Its name is Ferniehirst Castle, a beautiful country mansion in the expansive and often-overlooked Borders region of Scotland. The detour was well worth it after seeing the smile on my mom’s face!

This concludes the first part of our series, “The Don’ts of Travel”. Stay tuned for more upcoming articles!